Ninja of the Night
by Kyuusaisha Bleeding
Summary: Both Sasuke and Naruto are getting tired of Sakura and try to rid themselves of her. Warning: no point, and I wrote it while I was bored. Rated for language.


Kyuusaisha Bleeding: I thought this might cheer you up, Ravenne…

In case you were wondering, I don't own Naruto or BT.

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One day, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had just finished another D ranked mission (yeah, it was the cat) and were marching rather pompously through Konoha village. Naruto and Sasuke were silently plotting to get rid of Sakura; she was really starting to get on their nerves. She swung her arms too much for Naruto's liking and Sasuke suspected that she spent much of her free time going over the most tedious subjects, just to spite him when she would speak to him later. 

For example, today she babbled on and on about how the sound that hackie-sacks made when you hit them was extremely irritating, and that they ought to be filled with some sort of smoke bomb or explosive powder so that people who lacked the brain capacity to do other things would have their toes blown off when they tried to play with the woven sack.

"I'll fill _you_ with explosive powder…" Sasuke muttered, his eyelids half-closed with boredom.

Sakura's ears perked up at that moment. "Nani! What did you say, Sasuke-kun?"

"Nothing, Haruno…" Sasuke rolled his eyes, deciding to watch Naruto nurse his wounds from the mission instead of the edges of Sakura's eyes turning red with suspicion and her nostrils flaring. Not only was Naruto severely scratched from the poor, tortured cat and pouting while he ran his thumb over the shallow lesions, but he seemed to be bobbing his head to an internal beat that only he could hear.

"Yeah…gonna be a star…we're here to save the Erf. E-R-F…" he whispered.

Sakura's pink head tilted to an impossible angle and she slowly turned toward Naruto. She stopped her purposeful stride outside a fruit stand selling kumquats and mutant olives. Conveniently, Naruto and Sasuke stopped as well. The two boys exchanged a glance. It was now or never to rid their precious lives of Sakura Haruno, at least until tomorrow when she would be insanely angry with them. Read as, frown at Sasuke and smash bowls of instant ramen over Naruto's head while kicking him in the shin.

But this once, Sasuke felt some sympathy for Uzumaki, so they would work together. Once. Only this one time. Once in a lifetime offer.

"Hey, Naruto-kun, what song is that?" Sakura inquired innocently.

"I'm glad you asked, " Naruto beamed, folding his arms. "It's Never Gonna Come Back Down, by BT—"

"Great, now shut up, 'cause it's annoying!" Sakura squawked.

Naruto completely disregarded the comment and decided to do the wave with his arms outstretched while still bobbing his head. Sasuke twisted his heel into the gravel, enjoying the crunchy sound it made. "Eh, Haruno…speaking of annoying…"

Sakura turned eagerly to Sasuke, who she saw was pointing his index finger into the air just above her head. Her bulging eyes followed the finger, her toes and fingers twitching erratically and anxiously. A giant, three-eyed sea gull was falling from the sky, honking loudly as it did so.

Naruto moonwalked out of the way just in time, and Sasuke miraculously seemed to drift out of harm's way at the last second just by sighing with boredom. Sakura however, wasn't so cool and lucky. The malformed bird landed on her with a muffled _plat. _She wasn't flattened of course, but the sea gull was heavy enough to knock her unconscious and pin her to the ground. There were several moments of silence. A few villagers passing by stared at the scene and ran into things because they weren't paying attention to where they were going.

"_That_ was more _awesome_ than I could have ever dreamed," Naruto's eyes glistened with happiness. "Let's see her swing her arms _now_." He glared at the pile of kunoichi and poultry, as though daring it to move.

Before the two plotting boys strutted away from the fruit stand in higher spirits than an hour ago, the sea gull disappeared in a great, over-theatrical puff of smoke and was replaced by none other than Jiraiya, holding his pipe calmly. No one passing by on the street asked what had happened.

"This will be great inspiration for my book!" the man said excitedly. Sasuke sweat-dropped and Naruto thanked his mentor again for the favour. Jiraiya waved and pulled a small purple notebook from behind his own ear. Naruto and Sasuke paraded away. Sasuke pulled out a paper party hat and snapped it onto his head, while his partner in crime removed a noisemaker from his kunai belt. Indeed, they were overjoyed with how well their evil plan had worked out.

"Indeed, I am satisfied with the proceedings of our plan," Sasuke said, half of a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"Hey! Uchiha! Sakura's not here. _French it up_!" Naruto practically yelled in his cohort's ear, flicking the party hat off-center.

"Alright…let's see…that went _damn_ good!" Sasuke punched the air.

"Heeeellll yeah," Naruto nodded his approval. "What do you wanna do first?"

Sasuke shrugged casually. First thing to do would be to make the most of their time without Sakura breathing down their necks. They started walking toward the forest.

"Hey, Uzumaki," Naruto looked up from licking his wounds like a cat (Sasuke raised an eyebrow). "We bad,"

"Tru dat, bro," Naruto and Sasuke gently punched hands.

"We're so ninja," Sasuke added, hands in pockets, eyes half-closed and bobbing his head along with Naruto to the non-existant beat of BT.

"Awright…we're here to save the Erf!"

"E-R-F! Owwwwwwwww! Blaaaaaaaaaaaah! Red. Green is like a boom to the what's dis non. Diddy on dawn to the don don diggy dawn!" they both sang together, break-dancing into the night.

Fin

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I'm sorry if that offended any Sakura fans...oh wait, no I'm not. 

(Japanese) "Nani!" means"What!"


End file.
